Blogging Frustrations

So many blogging frustrations!!

I don’t have a “niche.” I knew that going into this.. I’m not crafty, I don’t bake, and I have ZERO interest in fashion, hair and make up. I don’t have a cute family or adorable pets that people want to see. I feel uninspired. I know part of that is being stuck in the house and I feel like January will bring better blog posts. But then there’s this.. I’ve looked at plenty of “blog post idea” posts on other blogs and Pinterest.. The majority of them seem like good ideas but then I think, “who wants to see that from some random woman they don’t even know?” Like;
-Share a family tradition.
-Show us what’s in your purse!
-Current book you’re reading.
-Share some of your silly habits.
They’re all great ideas, but I feel like as a new blogger, this isn’t going to bring in traffic.

So here’s my dilemma.. Do I force myself to write posts that will bring in traffic because I’m a new blogger? Or do I just blog what I want, because it’s my blog, and know that eventually, it’ll grow?
I know I didn’t start this blog as a way to make money. I don’t see myself making money in the blogging world for a while, if ever. I’m struggling with content. I know I should just get over my “I don’t think anyone wants to read this” problem and just write what I want. But that’s easier said than done, right?
And also, Etsy is failing me with WordPress themes. Everything I’m seeing is either too expensive, (I’m cheap, I’m sorry) too plain, or too GIRLY. I’m not a very girly person. I can’t see my blog title having a bunch of cute flowers around it. I also can’t justify spending $100 on a blog theme, unless I was making money from the blog. Or unless that was my plan.

I dunno. Maybe I’m being too picky. Or over thinking this entire thing. If you’re good at this blogging thing, you should leave me some awesome words of wisdom or advice. Or just tell me to shut up because I’m being ridiculous. Your choice. 🙂

2014 Review Extravaganza Week #2

We’re back for another installment of the 2014 Review Extravaganza hosted by Emmy! Today, I’m taking a look back at April, May and June of 2014. I only started blogging in October, so the majority of the year I will just be sharing photos & such. Enjoy!
aprilfirstApril 1st – The very first Angels home game of the season! It was also Mike Trout bobblehead night. That’s a very classy pictures of my sister Lauren and I right there. Her best friend Sonja also went with us. We sat in the very last row at the top of the stadium, and it was a little cold.. I don’t remember much about the game, but I’m sure it was good! (Ya know, cause the Angels did so well in the beginning of the season!)
aprilApril 14th – I watched my very first eclipse! I drank a lot of wine that night, which I think made it more exciting. It was so cool, though! I couldn’t believe that I had never seen one. I watched it from the backdoor in my parents room because I was too lazy to go downstairs & sit outside, like everyone else. #Winner.

April 23rd – Another first for me. I have driven to the top of Saddleback mountain plenty of times, but had never done it at night. I planned this kind of on a whim, threw it up on Facebook to see who wanted to go, and I had a pretty good turn out. If I remember correctly, I had about 15-20 other jeeps show up. (And a few people in trucks) When we got to the halfway point, (where this picture was taken) we stood around and hung out for what felt like forever. Probably a couple of hours, at least. A lot of people left from there, because it started to get late. It was close to midnight, and only a few of us left, when we decided to keep going up to the top. I was too tired and lazy at that point, so I rode with a friend the rest of the way. That was cool, too, cause it’s not very often I get to ride shotgun. The views are AMAZING at night! From the very top, you can see way off in the distance the planes coming in to the airport. So cool!
bradstockMay 10th – About twice a year, I have a friend who puts on this music festival in Lake Elsinore called Bradstock. Over the years it’s grown to be a pretty big deal in southern Orange County. The bands are pretty good, but I usually go just for the fact that I can hang out by the lake and get drunk during the day. It’s always a good time!
may100hapydaysMay 23rd – I’m assuming this is when I first discovered the 100 Happy Days project. I started it the next day, but I failed after about 60 days or so. Don’t worry, though, I plan on giving it another try in 2015! If you’re interested, you can check out the info at www.100HappyDays.com.
socaljeetmeet2014June 28th – I hosted my very first Jeep Meet & Greet at Valiant Brewing in Orange. Since it was my first, I planned it on a whim. My brother works at Valiant Brewing and he got me in contact with the owner. We picked a date that was about six weeks out. I was a little bummed that it was so far away, but it turned out to work in my favor. In those six weeks, I blew up social media with info on the event. I don’t have an exact number on how many people showed up, but at one point during the day, I counted about 60 Jeeps. Pretty good, if you asked me! Following this event, we had a group of about 10-15 of us that ventured up to the top of Saddleback. We got there by sunset, which was another first for me. It was a ridiculously long day, but I had such a freaking blast!
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Be sure to come back next week! I’ll be looking back on July, August & September. Also, if you’d like to join, it’s not too late! Link up with us; I think there’s some awesome prizes to be won, too.



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Cheers to Two Years.

December marks a pretty cool anniversary for me. It’s been two whole years since I first went through something called brainwave optimization therapy. It’s an AWESOME treatment for things like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and all kinds of other things. (You can read more about that here. Or visit www.brainstatetech.org) I am also celebrating two years of being anti-depressant free!

Two years ago, if you would have asked me what my future looked like, I would have never been able to even imagine the point where I’m at now. For those of you who didn’t know me two years ago, (that’s most of you, I’m assuming) let me explain to you a little about the type of person I was.

I was very depressed. I’m not just talking about being sad from time to time. It wasn’t the type of depression that follows a streak of bad luck, or shitty life circumstances. Things were pretty bad. I remember the last two years before Brainstate, I pulled away from most of my friends, let go of the hobbies that I loved so much, and I was absolutely no fun to be around. (Even for my family.) I was mood ALL the time.. When I did want to go out, I’d sit alone, or not be very engaging with my friends, or I just looked depressed. Seriously; no fun at all. I have people who can testify to this, too. I spent countless days curled up in bed, watching TV and eating dry cereal right out of the box. I felt incredibly hopeless. I had no idea where my life was going and the future terrified me.

What I’m trying to say here people, is that things were bad. REALLY BAD.

It’s hard to explain to people what depression feels like. It’s something that’s not easily put into words. I remember in high school people saying cliché things like, “snap out of it!” or “just try to look on the bright side.” The bitch about depression is that it takes away your ability to see the good in life. It takes away your ability to feel joy, about anything. It’s this thing that sucks you into a black hole and makes you forget about everything good in your life. You forget about your friends and family, and that they love you. You forget how much you love being outside, or photographing things, or listening to your favorite bands. You forget the simplest things in life. I like to use Eeyore as an example. You know, when he’s the only one with the rain cloud above him. That’s what depression is like; it’s raining on you all the time, and you can’t figure out how to make it stop. You look around and see your friends having a great time out in the sunshine, but no matter what you do, you can’t quite feel what they feel. You can’t make that rain cloud go away.

What Brainstate did for me is equally as difficult to put into words. I feel like words don’t do it justice, and the ways I can think to describe it just sound so cliché.. It was like, coming up for a breath of fresh air, or seeing a sunset for the first time. The rain cloud was gone. I can honestly say that before December of 2012, I don’t think I had ever felt pure joy. Don’t get me wrong, nothing about my life is perfect. I stumble and I fall, and my future still looks a little hazy. What’s important is that doesn’t terrify me anymore. I don’t feel hopeless. I have a passion for life now that I never had before, and I can’t even begin to imagine what things would look like had I never discovered Brainstate.

So, here’s to two years. Two years of figuring out who I really am, and being happy every step of the way. (And doing it drug free!)

brainstateI took this picture on my last day of treatment back in 2012. I liked the way the clouds looked, so I snapped the picture and didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until I went back and looked at it later that I realized the way the sun hit the lens.. It’s beautiful. It’s become one of my favorite photos. 🙂

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2014 Review Extravaganza Week #1

During the month of December, I’ll be participating in the 2014 Review Extravaganza Link up with SO many other lovely ladies. I haven’t been a blogger for very long, but I love the idea of sharing some photos and moments from 2014! Every week, I’ll be reviewing 3 months of the year. This should be fun!

jan1January 1st – my first photo of the year! I took one of my most favorite drives, through Santiago Canyon, (here in Orange County) & snapped this awesome photo of my Jeep, Jerry. I had every intention of completing my second 365 day photo project. Turns out, though, the camera on my phone doesn’t focus, and the project failed miserably a couple weeks later. Still a pretty cool shot, though!

jan24January 24th – I saw one of my favorite bands, The Maine, perform an acoustic show at the Chain Reaction in Anaheim, CA. I had seem them a couple times before, but never an entire acoustic set. It was absolutely AMAZING. The venue is a tiny hole in the wall, too, so the whole thing was very intimate. I loved it! Recently before this show, I had read some article online by a musician, (I can’t even remember who) who talked about how kids at shows are so focused on taking photos and videos on their phone, that they don’t REALLY enjoy the show. So, as a challenge, I didn’t take one single photo during this show. Right after, I was kind of proud of myself. I’m a photographer, and I’m addicted to social media, so it was difficult for me to leave my phone in my purse for that long. But now looking back on it, I’m kind of bummed I don’t have at least one photo of the show. I’ve never been one to use my phone much during concerts, but never again will I not take a single photo. This photo is of the ticket & the “program” the band had made.

vday2014February 14th – Valentine’s Day! I was single, which doesn’t bother me. My sister & I went out into Holy Jim and did a little off-roading. I took this opportunity to take some badass pictures of my Jeep all covered in mud. Then I stopped off at the liquor store for a bottle of wine & my one shot of Fireball whiskey! It was a pretty good day, if you asked me. 😉

saddleback-feb26February 26th – This day was nothing special. Just another trip up Saddleback Mountain, with one of my besties. That’s Mike. I took this picture about halfway up, and for some reason, it’s been one of my favorites.

march7thMarch 7th – I saw the Ataris at the House of Blues in Anaheim, CA. Another one of my favorite bands, and I had seen them before, too. This show was especially cool because it was the “So Long Astoria” 10 year reunion tour. They played the album “So Long Astoria” from start to finish. This album, hands down, is my favorite album by any band, in any genre of music. I’ve had it on repeat since I was 14 years old, and I LOVED hearing every song performed live. After learning from my mistake at the Maine’s show in January, I took this one photo, and one very short video clip.

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1656423_595511317212527_1853333155_nMarch 30th – My birthday! That first picture is the aftermath of the balloon wall my mom put on the other side of my bedroom door. I’m sure you’ve seen them on Pinterest before.. You use streamers to kinda make a balloon net, and then put balloons in it.. Then when I hope the door from the inside, all the balloons fall in. I wish I had a picture, but I think you get the idea.

I planned an off-road trip for that day with a bunch of Jeepers I had never met before. (Okay, I had met one of them) I took a few of my friends with me in the Jeep, as well. It was an interesting day, to say the least. About half way up the mountain, one of the gates was closed. Didn’t bother us much, we just took one of the other trails that went off to the left. None of us had been that way before, either. We spent probably 2 hours on that trail, before running into someone who told us the gate was closed at the other end. SO, we had to turn around and essentially ride the trail back to where we had started. We were on the mountain for HOURS and I had a freaking blast! Even getting horribly stuck was fun.. I had was in good company, though, and the boys knew what they were doing. Only took 20 minutes to get me out of that ditch.

Well, there you have it. Some of the highlights from January, February and March. Come back next week for April, May and June! And if you’re interested, check out the 2014 Review Extravaganza link-up!
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4 Ways to Help Cope with Making Mistakes

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I am the queen of bad decisions.. For most of my adult life, I’ve made my decisions based solely based on my feelings, (not rational thoughts) and generally those feelings were temporary. When I was 19 years old, I married a man I had only known 2 months because I was bored. I attempted to move to Nebraska because I thought I was tired of California. (Okay, that one had a little thought to it.) Not to mention all the nights I spent drinking because I was a little sad or anxious. Making decisions based on feelings isn’t always a bad thing. But generally, you should put some actual, rational thoughts into the important ones.

After Brainstate in December of 2012, my decision making got a little more rational. For the first time ever, I was thinking things through before making decisions. Talking with my best friend about this once, she told me she was glad I thought things through, so she could worry a little less about me. Unfortunately, no one is perfect and from time to time, I still make an irrational decision. It doesn’t happen nearly as often, but it happens.

So, how do you deal with the big mistakes? How do you put aside self-defeating thoughts and go on with your life? Here’s some things that have worked for me..

1. Remind yourself that you are HUMAN, and we are not perfect.
This seems to like a no-brainer, but we often forget that we are allowed to make mistakes. Obviously, this shouldn’t be used as an excuse to do stupid things on purpose. But I think remembering this simple fact can go a long way.
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2. Rely on your support system.
Everyone’s got one; whether it’s your family, or friends, or a mixture of both. Usually after a big screw up, I forget that my family and friends love me unconditionally. Lucky for me, my support system has never once passed judgment on me because of the mistakes that I’ve made. If you’re lucky enough to have people in your life that love you and want to help you, don’t be too proud or stubborn to take it. Remember that some things can’t be dealt with alone.

3. Make a new plan.
Okay, so you screwed up. Now what? Wallowing in self pity isn’t going to change a damn thing. Trust me, I know from experience. So come up with a new game plan. Plan B. The next phase. Call it whatever you want. Write down a few reasonable steps to fix this mess. There’s always something proactive to be done, no matter how hopeless the situation may seem. (And don’t forget your support system is there for help & encouragement!)

4. Forgive yourself & let it go.
This one might take a couple of tries before it sticks, but it will eventually. Forgiving yourself is tough, but it will make you feel a heck of a lot better once you do it. Once you’ve forgiven yourself – just let it go. The mistake you made is in the past and there’s no use holding onto it. If it helps, sing the song from Frozen. (I know you know the words.) Maybe even do a little dance.
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These things are usually easier said than done. (Again, I know from experience.) Sometimes you’ll have to remind yourself over & over that you are only human, and other days, it’ll come naturally. One day, you will accept help from your support system with open arms, and other days you’ll slam the door in their faces. It’s a day to day struggle, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t going to get better. It takes time, and patience, but it will get easier. You will let it go.

What do you do after a major screw up? I’d love to hear from you!
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Things I might do this December

thingsimightdothisdecemberIt’s December! This is probably my favorite month of the entire year.. I love that the weather finally cools down, (as cool as it’s going to get in southern California) and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Christmas season. Now, I’m not one for season bucket lists.. Back in October, I created a sort of “Fall Bucket List” as part of Blogtober. I did not do a single one of those items. There wasn’t even that many, either. So I am not going to make a December bucket list, I’m just going to show you some of the things I want to do, and hope that I do them. I will have a lot of free time on my hands this December, so there really shouldn’t be any excuse.

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I don’t bake, or cook.. But these cookies look simple enough. I clicked on the link, and it brought me to a page with just a photo, not a recipe. I’m assuming they’re just sugar cookies? And if not, that’s how I’ll make mine. But how cute are they!? This can be found on Pinterest, but it’s really not an exciting pin.

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I’m probably going to print some of these Christmas coloring pages because my inner child is like, ten years old.

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This looks pretty cool, and it might be cheaper than a candle from Bath & Body Works.

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This. Because vodka.

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Sledding Marshmallow Snowman! – Something cute to eat that doesn’t involve baking!

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I love candles & I love mason jars, so naturally, I love candles in mason jars. You can find this on Pinterest, but it’s pretty self explanatory.

You can find all of these, and maybe more, over on my Pinterest board, Things I Might Do This December. I promise to share my experiences and finished products this month. If I even make it around to doing any of these things.. What’s on your list of things to do this December?

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4 Reasons Why Social Media is Awesome

I can’t tell you how many times I see a post on Facebook that looks something like this; “I’m in the break room at work, and there’s like, 5 people sitting here, and they’re all on their phones. Like, why can’t we just talk to each other? Are we that addicted to social media and our cell phones?” My response is, 1, how ironic is it that you are venting about this on social media, on your cell phone, in the same room with these people? And 2, if it bugs you that much, why don’t you try & start a conversation with them rather than venting about them via Facebook? Just a thought..

I hear too many people these days complain about how obsessed society is with social media. How there’s too many kids using cell phones at concerts, and how we should get off Twitter and be a part of a real conversation. Do people not realize that social media is, essentially, one BIG conversation? Sure, there are times when you need to put your cell phone in your purse, or your pocket, and focus on the people that are next to you. There are times when it’s nice to be out somewhere, enjoying nature and good company, without cell service. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for those things. But I’m also a big supporter of social media, and here’s a few reasons why.
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1. You can stay in BETTER contact with people. Yes, I realize that we have telephones. I know it’s easy to pick up the phone and call someone to see what’s been going on in their life. But how cool is it that we have Facebook to help us out now? We all have relatives, or old friends that we like to stay in contact with, and I think Facebook is a GENIUS way to do that. I tried not being on Facebook once, and all it did was make me miss the people that I really don’t get to talk to on a regular basis.

2. You can meet new people! This is a big one for me. About a year and eight months ago, (but really, who’s counting?) I was just starting to get into the world of off-roading, when I got my Jeep. SO many people see their vehicle as just that; a vehicle. And I did, too. Until I got online and saw the hundreds of thousands of other Jeep enthusiasts out there. With the help of Facebook, Instagram, and through the amazing power of the hashtag, I now have some of the best friends a girl could ask for. I’ve met SO many new people through the Jeep community and I doubt it would have been possible without social media. The first meet and greet I planned was on a whim.. I planned it randomly, because it sounded like fun. I posted it on Facebook and Instagram for about 6ish weeks, and come June 28th, 2014, I had at LEAST 60 jeeps show up to my event. ALL THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA. Seriously, it’s a beautiful thing. Just a few weeks ago, I planned an off-road trip via Instagram. I had about 20(ish) other people show up; people I had never met before. And we had a freakin BLAST.
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3. You get news/current events faster than ever. For those of you who don’t know, I am a big Angels fan. Throughout the season, the number one place I go to for news, updates, or even a play-by-play of the game, is Twitter. News travels SO fast on Twitter, it’s ridiculous.

4. It makes big events more entertaining. I’m not a football fan, but I do, however, watch the Superbowl so I can live tweet on Twitter with everyone else. Remember that year the power went out at the Superbowl? Yeah. I was on Twitter when that happened and the tweets were HILARIOUS! Award shows are sometimes fun to follow on Twitter, too.
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It’s no secret that I love social medial, and I will never get tired of defending it. So tell me, what do YOU love about social media? (Tweet me, or write to me on Facebook!)

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Song of the Week Wednesday

As most of you may have heard, (or figured out first hand) Taylor Swift & Jason Aldean have recently pulled their music from Spotify, and it seems YouTube as well. I understand why, but it sucks when you want to blog about their music and can’t find a video to embed! So – I’ll leave you some lyrics from this weeks Song of the Week Wednesday.

On My Highway – Jason Aldean

On my highway, the yellow lines
Have disappeared from time to time
And I’ve wound up
On the wrong side of the road

On my highway, I’ve gone too fast
Afraid that I might finish last
I hooked a curve too hard and lost control
Oh, I never know which way it’s gonna go

But what a feelin’ chasin’ the sun
Livin’ my life like it’s shot from a gun
Laughin’ a little bit more with every mile

Oh, what a freedom racin’ the wind
Dyin’ to know what’s around the next bend
And smilin’ as I watch the years roll by
I’m learnin’ how to take it day by day
On my highway

On my highway I missed some signs
And left a damn good love behind
I see her in my rear view like a ghost

On my highway I’ve broken down
And cried when no one else was around
And prayed that God would save my soul
Ya, I’ve paid a lot of heavy tolls

Oh, what a freedom like a sail in the wind
Not lookin’ back, not forgettin’ where I’ve been
Smilin’ as I watch the years roll by

I’m movin’ on from my mistakes
And I’m learnin’ how to take it day by day
On my highway

And obviously the chorus repeats 5 more times at the end of the song. This song has meant a LOT to me over the years. I feel like it accurately describes the way I’ve lived my life; without fear, making irrational decisions based on feelings, and loving every minute of it. I have made a lot of “mistakes” in life, and one of the biggest challenges for me has been letting go of them & learning to take life one day at a time. This song also means a lot to me because I played it in my truck about a million times the day I left Nebraska. I listen to it when I’m feeling down & need a little pick me up, and even when I’m in a great mood and want to remind myself why.

Now, to lighten the mood, I present to you – a guilty pleasure song. Please be advised, this song is EXPLICIT. If you are offended by foul language, I don’t recommend listening to it. However, it is an awesome song & I love every second of it. One of my best friends and I discovered it in high school and proceeded to learn every single world. We used to write the lyrics in notes to each other, and I’m pretty sure we spoke the lyrics to each other too. People thought we were weird. Well, we were weird. Still kind of are. BUT ANYWAY. It’s a guilty pleasure song, so don’t judge me.

Helene in Between Song of the Week Wednesday

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Gratitude Friday

So this really awesome chick Ashten, (over at Always Ashten) has started Gratitude Friday. There’s no link up, and she I don’t think she’s encouraging others to write their own Gratitude Friday posts. All she wants is for others to share what they are grateful for. I love the idea so freaking much, I decided to make a whole post out of it. (I’m also hoping to follow along every Friday of November with her, but we’ll see how that goes.) Ashten has found that when you keep a little notebook, and write down the things you are grateful for, you tend to be a little happier. Which is true! I’ve read the psychology studies. And of course, November is the month when people stop, take a look around, and are GRATEFUL for what they have. (That, and stuffing our faces full of turkey and pumpkin pie.)

I feel pretty cliché when I say I am grateful for my family. I feel like everyone kind of says that by default.

“What are you grateful for this holiday season?”
“My family! They’re the absolute best!”

IMG_2488.JPGI don’t know. It seems a little forced coming from a lot of people. But for me, I truly am grateful for my family. I have a family that others are jealous of and would love to be a part of. I have awesome parents, who have been together for, what feels like forever. They met in high school, never fight about a damn thing, and love each other to the point where it almost disgusts me. Not only do they love each other, but they love my siblings and I even more. They have bailed me out more times than I can count. They were supportive and loving through the years of depression, when none of us knew what was really going on or how to handle it. Not to mention all the trouble I have gotten myself into over the years. They have set back and LOVINGLY let me make my own mistakes, and I am more grateful for that now than I have ever been.

IMG_2487.JPGThen there’s my siblings. I am the oldest of four. I have a younger brother, and two younger sisters. We all have awesome, different relationships with each other. As a kid, I don’t really remember us fighting much, like siblings often do. (Maybe my parents can refresh my memory on that one.) And now that we are adults, we have so much fun together! My parents recently took a 10 day vacation to Hawaii, and all four of us decided to drink a lot of alcohol and be loud and probably annoy the parents. My sisters and I took a lot of selfies that night, as well.

IMG_2480.JPGOh, and we do things like Star Wars season – that’s when, in between baseball seasons, we watch all 6 episodes of Star Wars. It usually ends up being just my dad and I, because no one else cares that much. But my brother is around sometimes, too. And YouTube night! One of my favorites. We have a Roku (look it up!) and on there, is a YouTube app. So we created a Hicks Family YouTube account, and about once a month start a new playlist. All of us have access to the account and can add videos to the playlist whenever we want. And then one random night, we all pile into the living room and watch YouTube videos all night. It’s hilariously awesome. How many other families do you know do shit like that!?

IMG_2485.JPGThats YouTube night! The immediate family, plus grandma, boyfriends/girlfriends & friends we consider family.

My family is the most awesome, fun, supportive group of people I know. I constantly meet people who don’t speak to one of their parents, or really aren’t that close with their siblings, ad in all honesty, it breaks my heart a little. I wish everyone had a family like mine. They rock.

Kick Self Doubt in the Balls

I KNOW no one said life was easy. And I know there are people out there who are worse off than I am. This post isn’t meant to be a one woman pity party..

Life has never come easy for me. I feel like every step of the way, every decision I’ve made, everything has been a struggle. For years, I dealt with a depression so crippling that I couldn’t do meaningless things like get myself out of bed in the morning, make breakfast, or do my laundry. Those are things that people do daily without even thinking. No effort at all. I can’t tell you how many days I had to talk myself into taking a shower or just leaving the house.

While those days are behind me, (thank goodness) I do still struggle with some of life’s anxieties. On a daily basis I’m faced with fear of failure, fear of disappointing others, self doubt, and low self esteem. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned how to battle them all, and on a good day I can go about my business ignoring the negative thoughts. But they’re still there.

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I’m even anxious when it comes to things I love doing. I have a Jeep meet & greet planned for this weekend, (I did all of the planning on this event!) and I am SO BEYOND EXCITED ABOUT IT! But in the back of my head, I’m freakin out. What if no one shows up. What if it’s super lame and only like, ten people show up. What if a lot of people show up, but everyone thinks it’s lame. What if they think the raffle and all the lame prizes are lame? WHAT IF!?

The things I’m doing with my life right now, they may not seem like big things. This part time job I have looks like something a 15 year old could do, and no, I don’t make a lot of money. But this is SO BIG compared to where I was 2 years ago.

I have to remind myself daily that things I am doing, though they may look small, are steps in the right direction. They are steps that I would not have even thought about 2 years ago. And every day I fight self doubt and irrational fears in hopes of having a better future.

Which leads me to one of my favorite quotes:

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Thanks for reading.. You guys are the best.

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